Today I like to talk about self esteem and why it is important for our self development. So let's start with a definition I found on the Mind website. "Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. It's based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, which can feel difficult to change. We might also think of this as self-confidence. Your self-esteem can affect whether you: Like and value yourself as a person."
When we speak about perception I would like to add that our perception is how we see ourselves in the world. Perception is not based on factual information, but on our beliefs that we have build over the years. What this means is that perception can be changed. We can change our beliefs and our opinions. This can be a daunting task as our believes are programmed into us. They are our beliefs after all.
There is nothing wrong with having beliefs and opinions, it's in our make up, its who we see ourselves. The issue comes when our beliefs negatively affect our self esteem, when it creates as you can possible guess low self esteem. When we have low self esteem we tend to get stuck and find it almost impossible to achieve what we truly, deeply desire. It creates anxiety, worries and in some cases depression.
Low self esteem creates unhealthy coping mechanisms for example
Making unhealthy food choices. Binging on food or not eating at all
Sport and exercise in excess
Having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Binging or frequently drinking
Smoking
Recreational drugs
On the other side of the self esteem we have overly high self esteem, where we feel superior to others and become arrogant, self indulgent and express feelings of entitlement. This can create social issues such as becoming isolated from others. Taking dangerous risks which can harm us.
Where we would like to aim for is healthy self esteem. We are aware of our qualities and of the things we can improve upon. We trust in our abilities and are not afraid to ask others for help in achieving our goals.
In order for us to have healthy self esteem requires us to be aware of your perceptions. A lot of our beliefs are built in and are stuck in our subconscious. We are not always aware of them as they come out as feelings and reactions. The key therefore is to learn to become aware of the automatic thoughts and question them. In the life coaching business we talk about limiting beliefs. Those are the beliefs that keeps us stuck. And are not based on fact.
A life coach can help you identify your limiting beliefs as well as helping you identify your inner strengths and values. Once you start to understand that what is holding you back and that what is most important to you, you will be well on your way to success. You have always been on your own journey, but as you become aware you can start to change your perspective and learn from your "set backs" and identify goals to move forward. Challenge your limiting beliefs and move towards being the best version of you.
By concentrating on the present and future and leaving the past in the past you will find your own unique way to your success. Be kind to yourself and forgive your self. It's not your fault. It is however your responsibility and choice to see your past as a learning curve. Challenge those negative limiting beliefs and start living the life you deserve
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